Ony daughter

“Only Daughter” by Sandra Cisneros is a touching and beautiful story. In it, Cisneros shows us the difference between cultures and the generations of male heads of the family, mapping their children’s lives out for them.  In Cisneros family, she is the only daughter/sister trying to survive and live in a male dominate household. For brothers/sons, their future is all left up to their own choices. Many follow the example of their own fathers or they just follow their own path and become fine doctors or lawyers.

My own grandfather, an immigrant from Canada, had five sons and five daughters.  He was a hard working, French speaking gentle, man.  When he came to this country, he started a little farm in Lincoln R.I, with hopes that his sons would follow in his footsteps, and his daughters would just marry and have families of their own.  After seeing a poster of a World War I soldier, my father decided his own future and that farming life was just not for him.  My grandfather applauded my dad’s decision.  However, my grandmother was an immigrant from Ireland, and if you had an Irish mom, you were her golden boy.  My grandmother begged my father to stay and work the farm; however, his mind was made up to leave since the age of 12.

When my three brothers graduated from high school, they pretty much knew they wanted a career in the armed forces.  As each brother left for boot camp and onto their new lives, pride was written all over my fathers face, but for my mother, like my grandmother, an Irish immigrant, tears flowed for her golden boys.

During my younger sister’s high school days, he had made the decision to join the armed forces. As we all sat around the dinner table one night, she blurted out “I have decided to go into the Army.”  My father sat stone-faced and my mother sat with a bemused expression. My father turned and looked right into her eyes and said “the only uniform that you will be wearing will be, long, white and with a lace veil attached to too your head.” To this day, my sister has never worn anything white. My sister ended up forgetting about joining the military and went on to college. Today, she is one of the top medical fraud investigators for a prominent insurance company. Pride was once again written on my father’s face when she came home with a commendation awarded to her from the company she works for as she followed her on beat in life.

After reading Cisneros account of her life’s journey and the path she chose. I felt sad for her father.  How sad for him not being at hand for her, or not wanting to be part of your children’s success. It must be so cheerless when a father misses seeing his babies’ first footstep, but it is more somber when he does not watch their footsteps in life.

As a daughter myself, I think we seek and need the approval of our fathers in what ever choice we make.

In the end, she sits with her father both realizing that she went from being treated as “one of the boy’s,” to gaining his respect and being the woman she chose to become.