Driving while Stupid

Stuipd driver



Dave Barry

       Dave Barry, the writer of “Driving While Stupid” has to be one of the best writers I have appreciated reading for many years.  His is the male to our Erma Baumbeck. In 1983, I was lucky enough to catch his show ‘The Taming of the Shrew,’ when I was on vacation in Montana. I will never forget two of his one-liners, he said, “Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking,” and, ‘It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.” It would probably surprise you that Barry won the Pulitzer Prize; it was not surprising to me. Driving While Stupid, by Barry is a great example of his work. He can take an issue of any kind and put it to humor. You can follow Barry’s blog by going to www. blogs.herald.com/

After reading Barry’s article on Driving While Stupid, it reminded me of a bus trip I was on a few years ago.  I had been staring out the window of the bus, just looking at the scenery, when this girl drove up to the side of  bus.  As I watched her from the window, I was horrified to see what I was starring at. This girl, in her 30’s, had one leg crossed over her lap, and her steering wheel was being used as the phone book holder. I must have spoken very loud at this point, because the people sitting on the left side of the bus immediately dropped what they were doing and came to my side.  We all watched this girl, driving at approx, 65 mph, her right leg steering the car.  In her left hand, she had a cell phone, and in her ear, she had a Bluetooth.                                              

We watched as she turned the pages of this phonebook and punched numbers on her cell phone.  With the bus on her side, she looked up and noticed all of us just looking at her, and to our amazement, she waved with her free right hand.  We drove side by side for miles, and we all just watched her stupidly.  Then, my mom took out a bingo maker, wrote something on paper, and placed it in the window.  The sign said, ‘We have your plate number,” and on her next sign, she put, “and we are calling the State Police.’  In turn the girl gave my mom the ‘The National Signal’, she gave my mom the finger.  With that, my mom makes yet another sign.  On this piece of paper, she drew the sign of a crosss and on the back she wrote, ‘You’re going to need this!

            I conclude with a wonderful quote by Barry, The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, or ethnic background, is that we all believe we are above-average drivers.  



      

CELL YELL

   The article that Eric A. Taub wrote for the New York Times taught me a few things.  First, I had no idea that there is now a name for people who talk so loud on their cell phone, CELL YELL!  I had never heard of that of that term used before.  Truthfully, when I hear people on there cell phone talking so loud, I use a few choice words of my own.  I could never understand why folks have to scream so loud into their cell phones, do they think we all want to hear you break-up with your boyfriend!

     I personally do not care for a cell phone, but with no more phone booths around, I need one incase my car breaks down, or to cancel an appointment.  Regardless of that, I totally see that anyone who uses a cell phone should go to www.cellmanners.com.  Going to this site and leaning the do’s and don’ts can save you nasty stares for people near you as you talk on the phone.  Cell phone etiquette is necessary to learn.

     I was in a restaurant the other night.  There were signs posted in the lobby that said

“Please turn off your cell phones while dining.”  Apparently, the people just did not know how to read, because cell phones were ringing all over the place.  It is one thing for the phone to have rung, but then answer him or her and carry on a 20 minute, loud conversation that disrupted every ones diner.  I wanted to walk over to one woman and just take her phone away from her.  Even with the dinners turning their heads and staring at her, it did not phase her one bit. This woman just kept on with phone call.  

     I know people count on using their cell phone. They need it for business, keeping track of their kids and just check in on their family.  But when you have to answer your cell phone or make a call, remove yourself from the group your in and find a quite, and out of the way of people and then you can make your call.

When Greed Gives Way to Giving

    

                                                     

                                                               Bob and Ellen Thomspon

   The story "When Greed Gives Way to Giving,” written by columnist Ana Veciana-Suarez, is an incredible story.  This man is a true a gem.  After the sale of his company, he made a hefty profit on his transaction.  Instead of walking away with all the money, he chose to celebrate his workers, some retirees, and widows.  To his workers, they were beside themselves when they were part of dividing $128 million.

Thompson was not born into money; on the contrary, he built his business by hard work and determination. He started out with only $3500 in his pocket and he began to build his dream company. Thompson could have had anything he could ever want in his life.  He could buy just about anything. There are things in ones life that you cannot buy.  You cannot buy love, heath, or respect, Thompson had all of them things.

     After reading this story, I needed to know more about the Thompson family, so I did a little research.  In my research, I found that not only was he generous with the group of people who worked for him, but was generous with his money in other ways. The year he sold his company, he and his wife Ellen founded the Thompson Foundation with $100 million from the sale of the Thompson-McCully Company. His main goal with the foundation is to help the low-income rise out of poverty and become self-reliant. He set up scholarships for the inner city kids.

There are so many lessons the Thompson has taught us all.  I feel that his motto could have been, “You can’t receive, unless you give.”

      During these hard times in this Country, it is getting harder and harder for people to donate money; furthermore, half this country is unemployed.  There are things people can donate without reaching into their pockets. The could give their time at a local food bank, a hospice center and The Red Cross.

            My hope is that all the workers who benifited by the generosity from Thompson, that they pay it forward. I hope they have dontated a percentage of there new windfall to there local United Way, Salvation Army or just pay for a proverty stricken child through school, including a 4 year college.

Risk Free Life

A Risk Free Life, written by Leonard Pitts, Pitts brings up the subject of a woman who has family medical issues.  For an example, Alzheimer disease, a disease that runs in her family.  She had the opportunity to have her eggs medically screened for the future life of her children.  Her children will not have to face an early onset of the Alzheimer disease that their own relatives have suffered from.  However, with this in mind, theirs lives are still prone to the unknown of any other medical issues they may face.

However, I do not agree with some of Pitts on a few things.  For an example, I really do not think people will be ordering their children.  Oh, you will have the people who are conceded and self-absorbing; they will seek out the Medical Center and “order” the perfect looking child. 
     In the past 50 years, since I have been born, there have been many breakthroughs in the medical field of obstetrics and gynecology with attention to the unborn baby.  In my opinion, one of the furthermost two items ever invented were the sonograms and ultrasound. You are now able to find out the sex of your baby, hear the baby’s heartbeat and see if she will be the mother of twins, triples or even sextuplets.  In some cases, the use ultrasound in early pregnancy appears to enable better gestational age estimation and earlier discovery of clinically unsuspected fetal malformation at a time when termination of pregnancy is possible.

    There will be a group of people, who will take the religious side of things.  Their philosophy is leaving everything up to the Lord, and then you will have the groups that think it is all hocus-pocus.

            In either case, all woman who are planning on having children, should have her eggs screened. This will not only give the mother peace of mind, but save her from a lifetime of heartache.

Good Grammar Gets the Girl

   

     In the essay, Good Grammar Gets the Girl, written by Elissa Englund, she shares with us her experience of online dating.  After placing an online ad, Craig contacted Englund.  In his profile, he seems to be a well educated, fun to be with, and that he was employed.  As they begin to communicate, Englund has made her judgment to abandon Craig as a potential date because of errors in his grammar.  For an example, he confused “weather” with “whether” and “are” with “our.”

     Was Craig just too quick to hit the spell-check button before reading what he wrote?  On the other hand, I think he was just being lazy or he just needs to brush up on his English grammar.

      Long before the internet and on-line dating, there was a dating service you could belong too.  This service was expensive, but at least you could view of their pictures.  Once you had gone through countless hours of viewing photos and listening to a few words from possible dating candidates.  Finally, your search is over, you both set up a date for dinner. 

     During your first date, you see that he is well-groomed, good hygiene and he shows that he is educated during your conversation with him.  Furthermore, you will not know how he uses his grammar or spelling, until he writes you a handwritten note or letter.

      In the meantime, for both the males and females who are responding to personal ads, sending email or you can save yourself a lot of trouble by writing your .  Open up your Microsoft WORD program, and write about yourself, your expectations, and anything else that you would like the other person to know about yourself.  Use your option for ‘spell check and grammar,” and fix your mistakes.  If by chance you do not have a spell check program, go the old fashion way and open up a dictionary!

Ony daughter

“Only Daughter” by Sandra Cisneros is a touching and beautiful story. In it, Cisneros shows us the difference between cultures and the generations of male heads of the family, mapping their children’s lives out for them.  In Cisneros family, she is the only daughter/sister trying to survive and live in a male dominate household. For brothers/sons, their future is all left up to their own choices. Many follow the example of their own fathers or they just follow their own path and become fine doctors or lawyers.

My own grandfather, an immigrant from Canada, had five sons and five daughters.  He was a hard working, French speaking gentle, man.  When he came to this country, he started a little farm in Lincoln R.I, with hopes that his sons would follow in his footsteps, and his daughters would just marry and have families of their own.  After seeing a poster of a World War I soldier, my father decided his own future and that farming life was just not for him.  My grandfather applauded my dad’s decision.  However, my grandmother was an immigrant from Ireland, and if you had an Irish mom, you were her golden boy.  My grandmother begged my father to stay and work the farm; however, his mind was made up to leave since the age of 12.

When my three brothers graduated from high school, they pretty much knew they wanted a career in the armed forces.  As each brother left for boot camp and onto their new lives, pride was written all over my fathers face, but for my mother, like my grandmother, an Irish immigrant, tears flowed for her golden boys.

During my younger sister’s high school days, he had made the decision to join the armed forces. As we all sat around the dinner table one night, she blurted out “I have decided to go into the Army.”  My father sat stone-faced and my mother sat with a bemused expression. My father turned and looked right into her eyes and said “the only uniform that you will be wearing will be, long, white and with a lace veil attached to too your head.” To this day, my sister has never worn anything white. My sister ended up forgetting about joining the military and went on to college. Today, she is one of the top medical fraud investigators for a prominent insurance company. Pride was once again written on my father’s face when she came home with a commendation awarded to her from the company she works for as she followed her on beat in life.

After reading Cisneros account of her life’s journey and the path she chose. I felt sad for her father.  How sad for him not being at hand for her, or not wanting to be part of your children’s success. It must be so cheerless when a father misses seeing his babies’ first footstep, but it is more somber when he does not watch their footsteps in life.

As a daughter myself, I think we seek and need the approval of our fathers in what ever choice we make.

In the end, she sits with her father both realizing that she went from being treated as “one of the boy’s,” to gaining his respect and being the woman she chose to become. 

A Brother's Murder

    Brent Staples writes his story, “A Brother’s Murder” for the love he has for his brother, Blake, and how one phone call would change his life forever. His brother Blake died as he lived. He lived the past everyday. Would Blake ever think that his one time a close friend, almost his conjoined twin, and would be his killer. Staples tell us of a crime, so horrendous for him to have witnessed. Blake must have felt if he could have just pulled his brother out of the life he was living, that he would be alive today.

Blake never did take the advice staples tried to give his brother. Eventually, the advice that he never took, he was shot to death by his friend.

    I personally feel that Staples did not do all he could for his brother. Blake had become a product of his own environment. The lifestyle he led was like his own personal addiction. The majority of the young kids that are being raised in the projects, ghettos, and poverty, it is going to be a life of despair for them. Even though Staples tried in many ways to tell his brother to get off the streets, but I think he could have done more for him. As the older brother of Brent, Staples could have shown him a better way of life. He had seen first hand the turmoil, murders, drugs and shootings. With all he grew up around, Staples could have seen the life his brother will have, if he did not intervene.

     Staples left the east coast and went on to college. In Chicago, he became a teacher for a short time, and then became a journalist. He found himself living a comfortable life. He rarely visited back home to see Brent. He had shut that whole world off in his head. He did not want to remember one day living in the projects. He had fled his past.

    Christmas of 1983, he did travel to visit his young troubled brother Brent. When he arrived in Virginia, he realized that his brother never did grow out of his past. He had even fallen more back in the housing project life. This story is not an isolated problem in the projects. Hundred’s of young kids, with or without a family unit, were killed. With money issues, selling drugs was the easiest way to make money. That life is cut short, time and time again.

     In 2011, across this country, in the best neiborhood's we see drugs, drive by shootings and murder. I hope that we can get to the kids before it is too late for them. We have many programs to help these kids today. Many more mentors such as teachers, sports figures and clubs to help them.  Who knows if Blake's life could have been saved. He lived his life as predicted. Staples was one of the lucky one’s. He had seen what the future was going to be, and if he did not make a change, he would end up like his just like his brother.  

Dear Dads:Save Your Sons

Maureen L Gardiner    

ENGL 0250-154        

H. Susi

      Where are the fathers who have fathered children? The answer is simple; they do not want to be located. Many men, who father children, do not know how to be a parent. They might have come from a maternal household themselves. 

      According the author, Christopher N. Bacorn of Dear Dads: Save Your Sons, he brings up some unfortunate issues that young single moms do suffer. They cannot fill the gap as the male figure that the child so desperately wants and needs in their life.

     When there is no male figure involved in a boy’s life, he has no idea on what or whom to emulate in life. When a teenager goes searching for a male role model, he sometimes turns to the wrong kind of father figure. Most boys turn to people who they think are their true friends and end up learning the hard way that they were not true friends at all. Kids with no self-esteem or discipline have a tendency to follow their “friends” into serious problems.

     The juvenile courts are bombarded with paperwork and the detention halls are filled to capacity with troubled youths.  A child who grows up without their biological father will usually have a hard time finishing high school. The chance that many of them ever going to college is doubtful. The jobs that they will end up with will probably be a minimum wage job and they no doubt will become a teenage dad themselves.

     When a single mom chooses to seek help for her son, she should first start at her son’s school. Most schools have student guidance counselors and have resources that would benefit the family situation.

The Flip Side of the Internet

Maureen L Gardiner

ENGL 0250-154

H. Susi

9/26/11

     Bennett truly grabbed my attention in her story, “Flip side of the Internet Fame.”  I could not imagine any one that I know, becoming an object on the Dark Side of the Internet.  Having someone that I know or loved, be so humiliated in this way, and so mentally tortured is beyond my comprehension. In Raza’s life, I feel that he will never let go of the feeling of shame, set upon him by the student who found his film. Nevertheless, what was he thinking of when he left such a recording behind.  Anyone finding this video would have a field day with it.

      In 1969, the United States Government set up the internet. The main purpose was for the Government to communicate via text within academic and research agencies. A few years after that, the internet was set up in many colleges and universities for there sole purpose of communicating. Once the colleges and universities had the system, in came “social networking”. 

      In the past ten to twelve years, ninety percent of homes have some kind of internet access.   It is unfortunate that some people have taken advantage of the net.  We now have bullies, predators, stalkers and personal information hackers using it..

      In the case of the student from Lewis & Clark College, his life will never be the same.  Anyone can use Google search, and locate your name and find information about you, on the World Wide Web.  Many companies, such as, law firms and dating services employ men and woman, to conduct internet searches on new clients and new employees.

      My cousin once posted on Face Book that she had to take $17,000 out of the bank to buy a new car, but when she went to the car dealership they were closed for the weekend. She posted that she now had to keep the money at her apartment over the weekend.  I could not get to my phone fast enough to call her and have her pull down the posting.  

      People will only feel safer if Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act ever becomes abolished, and lawsuits against the internet providers, such as AOL, Verizon and local cable companies will then benefit the innocent.